After my long under-performing run at my workplace, they finally decided to let me go on December 24th, 2012. It was a great place to work at. I learnt a lot about publishing, editing, team-work, people and their behaviour but more importantly, about myself! I made some awesome friends and even lost some by the end. I gave the organization my best while I could and it gave me back much more. However, both my professional and personal life had reached such a stage that my exit felt like a blessing in disguise! When I was leaving the office premise on the last day I knew that after almost 5 years of spending most part of my day at this place – a place which has an environment that’s no less than that of a vibrant college campus, a place where work is fun and colleagues are friends – I am going to terribly miss the times, the events, and above all – the people here!
Looking at the brighter side, it was a new beginning in the New Year. I went back home and spoke with my Dad about career prospects. It was a tough conversation to have all over again but as much as I hate hurting him with these things, there was no way out. So we had the talk and I told him that I plan to not go corporate again. This time round I just want to focus on acting or things related to it. After some reluctance caused by the concern of an insecure life ahead of me, my Dad agreed. To comfort him, I gave him an assurance that I will keep the end of 2013 as a deadline and will try my best to turn things around as an actor this year. We might have ended the conversation there, but I know he will not be able to relax and his mind won’t be at peace till something good actually comes up for me.
Nevertheless, here I am! For the first time in my life – After school, junior college, engineering, working at call-centres between terms, and then my day job – I have reached a stage where I have the whole day to me (when I am not on a vacation) and I can use it however I want. It feels different – good or bad – I haven’t been able to figure out yet. With no more corporate backup, no monthly salary, no daily routine to follow, it is a new life altogether. There are a lot of big question marks on my mind – How am I going to survive in Andheri? How am I going to pay my rent every month? How am I going to pay for other stuff that actors need? How am I going to afford the fuel in my 500cc bike which runs just 20km for every litre? How am I going to manage from here on? But I believe – like some of my actor friends have assured me – Everything will be alright! 🙂
I have told my Dad that if I ever reach a point when I need him to pay for my rent or for my survival here, I will move back to our place in Navi Mumbai. I am going to try my best not to reach that point. So, I am looking for all options of work available – dubbing, assisting, casting, being a junior artist, and of course – LOTS AND LOTS OF AUDITIONS. The problem seems to be that I do not fit for most of them. However, there is always hope and I am in no way going to quit trying.
It is strange that after so many years of trying to make it as an actor, it is now that I truly feel like A STRUGGLER or like I prefer saying – AN ASPIRING ACTOR. I shall try hard to delete the ‘ASPIRING’ from this tag and do as much justice as I possibly can to the ’ACTOR’ in it!
It’s a start. It’s new. It’s weird. It’s scary. It’s exciting.